


Welcome to the Panic Room

by mayflowers07



Series: i can be the one you call [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Also yes, Angst with a Happy Ending, Claustrophobia, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I really saw the prison video and thought about how to make it angstier, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, and then i did, do i care because i wrote this to cope with the stress of finals, he hurts himself during the panic attack, is this not the best written, no beta we die like Ren in the raid he caused, so i decided to just make what i wanted myself, xB is my fav and there is not enough content for him, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayflowers07/pseuds/mayflowers07
Summary: Long ago Xisuma had introduced the idea of a code phrase to the Hermits. It was a simple concept: sometimes bad things happened, even in conflicts meant for fun between friends, so if anyone spoke the simple phrase, it meant that something serious had happened and everything else needed to be put on pause for the moment.And while he could appreciate the code, xB himself had never thought he would have to use it.Until an emergency meeting gone wrong showed him how mistaken he was.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), They are all a wonderful platonic family and we love that for them
Series: i can be the one you call [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051148
Comments: 44
Kudos: 303





	Welcome to the Panic Room

**Author's Note:**

> The self harm is just xB digging his nails into his hands during the panic attack. It’s not too graphic at all, and I don’t think it’s mentioned too much, but I tagged it and wanted to mention it here just in case.

xB had never thought that he would have to use the code. He was fairly introverted compared to the other Hermits, preferring his peace and quiet with an occasional visitor. He definitely didn’t get involved in as many of the conflicts around the server as some of the others who seemed to thrive off of chaos (yes, that was a jab at Grian). And even when he did get involved, like with the Mycelium Resistance, he tended to take a background, support role when needed. So no one- least of all xB himself- had ever expected him to use the code.

Xisuma introduced the code years ago in an early season. He had called a group meeting that wasn't on Thursday, the day for their usual weekly meeting, which was something that typically didn’t happen and usually meant trouble. It was then that the admin pitched his idea: a simple phrase that when spoken meant that something was seriously wrong and that all pranking or fighting had to stop immediately and the situation had to be dealt with. xB could acknowledge how genius the idea was, a way to let everyone know that a line had been crossed between the groups usual fun teasing and play-fighting between friends, and actual harm being done to someone.

There were only a couple of times where the code had to be used, though every time it did had left everyone on the server shaken. The most serious one xB could remember was during the final battle of the war in season six. Grian and Doc had been going head to head in a PvP fight over a flag when Doc grabbed Grian by one of his wings to stop him from flying away, accidentally dislocating it in the process. Apparently Grian had let out the most horrific scream at that and called out the phrase. Of course Doc immediately let go of him and began administering panicked first aid to his pained friend. A quick message alerted everyone else in the war about what had happened and that there would be a complete pause for a couple of days to give Grian time to recover. Subsequently the whole server had spent those days taking care of Grian.

One of the times the code had been used thus far in season seven was by Bdubs of all people. xB was asleep when it had happened, so he didn’t learn the whole story until the next day. Apparently Tango and Impulse had decided to prank their fellow boomer. Their idea? Everytime Bdubs tried to sleep, they would set off a small explosion with TNT near him to wake him up. This lasted for three days and nights. Bdubs, who usually slept for a full ten hours at least, was only able to sleep for minutes at a time and quickly grew frustrated and exhausted from being kept awake for so long. Finally around four in the morning on the third night, he snapped and called out the safe word. He was so tired he actually started crying, desperate to finally sleep. Tango and Impulse were extremely sorry they had pushed their friend that hard, especially after Xisuma woke up, saw what had occurred, and gave them a harsh lecture. Everyone on the server had been instructed to give Bdubs a three day long break and not to disturb him whatsoever unless asked. Afterwards, the man was much more relaxed and instantly forgave Tango and Impulse for their prank gone too far.

In xB’s mind, he had always associated the code with a huge problem, something too catastrophic for him to ever be apart of. The safe words were for the other Hermits, not for him.

But fast forward a couple of months and one hijacked emergency meeting later, there xB stood eating his words. The prison was well designed but small. With the six members of the resistance all crowded into the space, sharing body heat shoulder to shoulder, it felt even smaller. While the other members all pushed towards the iron bars at the front of the cell to taunt and bicker with Scar and Bdubs, xB leaned against the trapdoor at the back, trying to steady his shaky hands and regulate his fast breathing. 

It wasn't that xB was usually that claustrophobic. Digging in caves for resources would be much harder if he was. It was just the suddenness of it all that had gotten to him. One minute he was in the well-lit, quiet, peaceful shop buying materials and thinking about decorating, the next he was shoved in a cramped, dull grey room with six other loud Hermits all yelling simultaneously about what was happening. Again, xB liked his peace and quiet and whatever was happening in the jail cell was definitely not that.

When Scar flipped the switch and lava began pouring from the ceiling, xB’s panic and adrenaline increased tenfold. Everyone began talking all at once and the tiny room was even smaller and the lights seemed to dim and the air became hot and thick and even harder to breathe. He barely managed to tuck his feet up on the trapdoor in time to avoid the sizzling heat spreading across the floor. Grian was yelling about his sweater catching fire and Doc was yelling about the walls being obsidian and Impulse was yelling and Ren was yelling and everyone was yelling it was too much too loud stop its too much

And just like that, it was over and Scar had covered the lava dispensers. While everyone else seemed to finally catch their breath after the lava was gone, xB still found himself barely taking in more than short, shallow gasps. The pressure in his chest the panic from the lava had caused didn’t go away. If anything it seemed to tighten its iron grip around his lungs.  
Why couldn’t he breathe? It was gone, he should be able to breathe? 

He was sweaty but also shaking at the same time. His brain was racing at the speed of light yet he couldn’t seem to focus on a single thought. His head felt both light and dissociated yet stuffed and heavy.  
And through it all, he still could barely breathe.

It felt like dying, the prison felt like his tomb, the walls were closing in, even smaller than before, he was going to suffocate and die within this stupid HEP prison. xB knew this wasn't rational but he couldn’t stop these feelings, it was like he-

Suddenly the answer hit him like a minecart; it was like he was having a panic attack. Because he was. He was having a panic attack.

The resistance, Scar, and Bdubs were still talking, but xB couldn’t make out anything they said. The rushing of blood to his head was too loud. They just sounded like static. xB was getting very light headed from his quiet hyperventilation. Black spots seemed to dance in front of his eyes. If he moved from his spot leaning on the trapdoor, he was sure he would probably faint. This needed to end ASAP, or he was actually going to get badly hurt.

Grounding himself enough to remember the code was a challenge. He ended up digging his nails into his palms, focusing on the pain. Finally with a sob of relief, the words floated to the forefront of his mind.  
In between gasps forced through his frozen lungs, xB’s voice was barely above a whisper when he stuttered out, “b-b-blue creep-p-per.”

But nothing changed. The casual conversation continued. No one had heard him.

Tears pricked the corner of his eyes. His breathing collapsed even further. Hearing, seeing, feeling, it all began fading away. The white noise in his ears and the black spots on his eyes grew, threatening to swallow him whole. No one had heard him.

This was death this was hell this was torture no one had heard him.

He dug his nails even farther into his skin. It gave him some feeling. Because feeling everything else was so hard when he couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t breathe and the pressure grew.

He couldn’t breathe and the pressure grew.

He couldn’t breathe and the pressure grew.

He  
Couldn’t  
Breathe  
And finally the pressure broke.

“Blue creeper!” xB shrieked out, tears finally pouring down his face. His silent hyperventilating turned into loud, desperately sobbing for air. Without realizing it, he had fallen off the trapdoor and was kneeling on the stone-cold floor. He scrunched his eyes tight and just cried.

There was nothing but his panic and his yelling. 

Nothing but his wheezing and his crying. 

Nothing but his pain. 

Nothing but his blood and sweat and tears.

For many minutes there was nothing.

...

But then there was something. Then there was a warm body behind him that he was leaning against, and there were gentle hands carding through his sweaty hair and holding his own hands away from his slick palms. That felt nice. Really nice.

With that touch, xB was able to center himself enough to hear someone talking beyond the ringing in his ears. Someone familiar. He liked that voice. Through the fog in his mind he forced himself to focus on what the voice was saying.  
“-deep breathes, just try and match my breathing, you’re okay, you’re gonna be okay xB, just breath-“

Grian, his mind supplied. The quiet voice talking in his ear was Grian. It was Grian telling him to breathe. So xB tried to. And at first it was hard to take in anything more than rattling breathes, but after a few minutes he was finally able to fully inhale and exhale. The cool air in his lungs felt like heaven.

“That’s it. Good job. You’re doing great xB. Don’t worry, Etho already messaged Xisuma. You’re gonna be okay. Just focus on breathing.”

Once he was calmed down enough, xB managed to crack his tear-stained eyes open and realize two things: 1) Someone had broken down the wall between the prison cell and the hallway Scar and Bdubs had been standing in, meaning that while the prison cell was still much too small for his liking, at least he had some breathing room. 

2) Everyone else who had been around were now surrounding him in various states of worry. Scar and Bdubs stood in the corner across from him, occasionally casting him guilty looks. Etho and Doc also stood farther away, talking to who xB assumed was the other Hermits on Etho’s communicator. At the moment all xB could make out was Etho softly explaining over the device, “-and bring some potions because he’s hurt himself real bad.” Impulse was knelt on his right, holding both of his wrists in gentle but firm grasps. There was blood under his nails and trickles of it running down his palm from where he must have pierced skin in his panic. Grian was on his left, holding his shoulders and guiding him to breath in time. And through the process of elimination, that meant it was Ren he was leaning against, and Ren who was stroking his hair.

Turning his head to face Grian, xB blinked the blurry tears from his eyes. The room still seemed to spin around him, and he was surprisingly tired, every muscle in his body heavy with exhaustion after being tensed for so long.

Grian gave xB a gentle smile and sighed, “Hey buddy. Quite a panic attack you just had. You’ve been hyperventilating for almost fifteen minutes.”

“...yeah… never been that bad before… that sucked…” xB managed to whisper, although even saying just that was a monstrous task when all he wanted to do was curl into a ball and sleep for a year. 

The body behind him shifted a bit as Ren chuckled, “Yeah, I can imagine it did.”

“xB,” Scar finally moved towards him and sat down in front of him, his face troubled, “xB, we're so, so sorry we just put you through this. I promise you, had me and Bdubs known you had claustrophobia like this, we would have never gone through with this prison trap at all.” Behind him Bdubs nodded, and xB was shocked to see that Bdubs was almost on the verge of tears as well. It must have been a rough fifteen minutes for everyone, dealing with him panicking as badly as he was.

A few more tears trickled down his cheeks at both the embarrassment of being seen in such a state and the thought of his friends helping him through it. With every bit of energy he could muster, xB leaned forward to grab Scar’s hand and gently squeeze it.

“It’s okay… you couldn’t have known…I forgive you.”

Suddenly the tiredness hit him hard and the room that had caused him this pain was just too unbearable to look at. xB slipped his hand out of Scar’s and leaned back against Ren, but this time he also turned to bury his face in the man’s shoulder as well. A protective arm came from Ren and hugged him back when he did this.

xB’s voice was muffled by the red fabric when he murmured, “I just… wanna get out of here.”

Slightly interrupting the moment, Etho cleared his throat. xB couldn’t be bothered to look up from his rather comfortable resting spot.

“Xisuma is on his way,” Etho said in his quiet voice to the other inhabitants of the room. “We should probably get him outside.”

Everyone agreed. Impulse, who had up until then been tying some spare pieces of wool he had on him around xB’s bleeding hands, gently asked him, “Hey dude, do you think you can walk out of here?”

With the way his muscles had seemingly given up, his eyes had grown heavy, and his breathing had evened out, xB knew he was seconds away from falling asleep. Walking was definitely out of the picture. He just barely shook his head no.

A silent conversation that he couldn’t see happened between the members of the group, because without another word xB heard Impulse, Grian, and Scar shifting away from him and someone else sitting down next to him.

A cold metallic touch landed on his shoulder and Doc’s familiar accent soon followed. “If it’s alright with you, I can carry you out of here. But only if you want.”

xB’s tired brain wanted nothing more than to get out of the room and sleep, so he nodded.

The following few moments blurred together. The next thing he was aware of was Doc carrying him bridal style and carefully making their way down a stone tunnel. Then he woke briefly to see Xisuma standing over him with a potion, encouraging him to relax. Finally he silently woke to feel someone lower him into a blessedly soft bed and tell him he could rest. And with one final sigh, xB fell back into a deep, peaceful slumber.

And if later he woke up to find the entirety of the Mycelium Resistance, along with Scar, Bdubs, and Xisuma at his base waiting for him to get up? If he then got wonderfully smothered in hugs from everyone and promises to make sure that what had happened never happened again? If a group meeting was called the day after to explain that xB was fine, tell everyone about the games to end the war that had been decided while he was asleep, and reiterate how important the code words were for everyone to know? 

Well, that was tomorrow-xB’s life to deal with. Until then, xB got to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This was definitely me indulging myself and writing about a comfort character. xB is one of my fav hermits so I decided to show him some love... by abusing him in my fanfiction. Yes, I know that’s contradictory, leave me alone.
> 
> I’ve also been considering turning this into a series where I explore other times the Hermits have had to use the code. It would include a more detailed look at the times with Grian and Bdubs I mentioned. I’ve also thought about other situations, like Doc using it when his prosthetic arm gets accidentally broken during a prank, Tango using it when the stress of keeping up Decked Out overwhelms him, and Scar using it when Jellie gets hurt and he panics. If you have anymore suggestions, let me know in the comments!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Finale (Can't Wait to See What You Do Next)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089485) by [GrumbotNGrianLover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumbotNGrianLover/pseuds/GrumbotNGrianLover)
  * [MCYT oneshots.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624554) by Anonymous 




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